He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
