he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
