did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
