Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
