She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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