Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
