guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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