my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
