Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize
