I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
