Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just forgot I was standing up.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
