your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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