Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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