i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize