help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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