i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
