That's intense
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We are all done wearing pants today
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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