Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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