i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
