It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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