i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
