I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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