quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
