I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
