K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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