So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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