Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
