she looked like the before picture.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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