do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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