You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
