Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Quick, to the slutcave!
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
