maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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