I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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