At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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