You can't special order awesome
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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