Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
