we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
