people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drunk is not a location!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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