that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
