Can Purell be used as lube?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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