That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
