my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
