Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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