who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
