My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
