Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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