Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
