I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
farters have to be the big spoon...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
