id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize