Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
