Pregnant stripper...not hot.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
