so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
