I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
