Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
