I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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