if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
