if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
