Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
