Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
