Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
