I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
