2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
