i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize