if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
