There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
