flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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