While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
